Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
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