I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
