How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
