Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Randomize
