i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
