Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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