I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
