So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
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