Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
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