We're like a lot better than the average bears
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize