I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
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There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
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I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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