So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
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