the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
You peed on a flamingo?!?
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
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