wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
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