I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
