How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
