we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
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