everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Randomize
