i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
