a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I just forgot I was standing up.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Randomize
