did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
