i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
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