your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Randomize
