She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
