I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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