I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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