i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
