he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
She even gives head with a lisp.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Randomize
