just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
