nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
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