$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Randomize
