please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
