Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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