he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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