So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
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