Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.