so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
It’s A Miracle These 21 Promiscuous People Don’t Have STDs
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
These 27 Infuriatingly Annoying Habits Will Ruin Your Day
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.