So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
