He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
The beers last night were like the tears from god
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Randomize
