Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
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