i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
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