god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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