I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
