Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Randomize
