My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
