tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
