We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Randomize
