oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
