but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
