walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
