today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Randomize
