Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
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