I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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