the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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