Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
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He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
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Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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