he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
