Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
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