Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
