I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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