Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
She announced her abortion via fbk
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
