Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
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