it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
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