I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Randomize
