last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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