How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
Acid is not a monday night drug
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
