You're completely useless in the revolution.
Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
