it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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