I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
