on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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