Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
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