dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
